When Did Christmas Get So Slutty?


In the aftermath of Christmas, with the gift wrap stuffed into a hefty bag and that polo shirt your mom got you ready to be exchanged for cash, we're left with only the memories. And a treasure trove of chicks dressed like slutty Mrs Clause on Instagram.

We all understand Halloween has become a poor excuse for women to act out their stripper fantasies. This seems relatively harmless because Halloween is a pagan ritual and there aren't many practicing pagans. Your annoying hipster bitch friend Courtney doesn't count, she's a poser who also claims to be Native American even though her parents are protestants who work for Halliburton.

You don't have to be a practicing christian to celebrate Christmas. Yet, a modicum of respect for those actually paying tribute to Jesus' birthday might be in order.

You wouldn't celebrate Ramadan by wearing a veil and sticking a G-string in your ass. That would come off as exploitative.

It may seem appropriate to question what a fat survivalist who lives at the North Pole has to do with the birth of our lord and savior. It doesn't matter, some people believe it. It doesn't have to make sense. If that was the end game, nobody would be worshiping Jesus in the first place.

It matters to some people. The dead eyed psychotic consumerism involved has served to bastardize what was intended to be a day where you could get shit faced and bet on sports and ignore your family.

Once we start spreading our ass cheeks for Jesus, whatever good involved in this holiday will fall by the wayside and we'll be left with a society full of sodomites and lepers which will be invaded by locusts and burned to the ground.

Read the old testament. If you still want to show your tits for Jesus, go for it. It made some decent points.

Photo Credit: Instagram  

Tagged in: bella thorne, kylie jenner, Kim Kardashian, courtney stodden


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