Alessandra Ambrosio Forever Workout

This Brazilian model turned thirty-five today. That's like sixty if you're an ad executive. You not only hear the footsteps of young replacements, you can see their tiny little bound feet stepping in and out of the panties you were supposed to be modeling. Working out fourteen hours a day helps stave off the inevitable. Pressed juice and yoga and various expensive skin treatments and balms made of shaved rhesus monkey taint buy you some time. But eventually the bell tolls for thee. It's time to kill the three remaining souls who know of your offshore bank accounts. Panama was compromised. That's not a moose knuckle. You're growing a penis. Didn't your mother tell you about model menopause?    

Photo Credit: Splash

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