You Can Run, But You Can't Hide From The Mr. Skin $99 Lifetime Special

That big grey dude in the epically shitty new X-Men movie (spoiler alert) lived for a thousand generations. That seems like a long time. Especially without access to any decent pictures of naked mutant chicks. If only he'd have had a $99 Lifetime special membership to Mr. Skin. ... read more

Charlotte McKinney Bad Boys Pointing At One Another

Charlotte McKinney is not without a pretty solid understanding of what drives the adjusted gross income on her 1040. You never saw Arnold Schwarzenegger hiding his enormous biceps between age 18-50. He booked a ton of gigs. And one not so fine looking cleaning lady. ... read more

Bella Thorne Chesty White T-Shirt

When they write the book on how Bella Thorne among all her sisters made it big time, they must include how much harder she plugged away than her siblings. Also, being better looking and convincing her parents a smart set of teen tits would be a good investment. But mostly hard work.
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Bella Thorne Bikinis On The Roadside And Other Blessings Of The Internet

Bella Thorne is an actress so I'm told. I've never seen her do anything other than post pictures in various states of undress. Not that I'm complaining. You got to use the talents God gave you.... read more

Yvonne Strahovski Scrumped by Adrien Brody (VIDEO)

The genius of Mr. Skin, in addition to selling nothing but tits, as opposed to the Just Lamps or Just Tires, is a reminder of who used to get naked a lot in the movies.... read more

Shady Billionaire Meddling In Gawker Case

Peter Thiel is a billionaire entrepreneur and investor who co-founded PayPal and happens to allegedly be a closeted gay man. He hasn't quite coped with this yet and has cultivated a bizarre Messiah complex in response and plans to have his body cryogenically frozen. The good news is we brought you back to life. The bad news, you just froze to death... read more

Baylor's Football Program Real Sketchy

An investigation found the Baylor football program guilty of systematically covering up rape and assault accusations against its players and in response fired coach Art Briles and demoted president Kenneth Starr and sent the victims a gift card to Chili's as a token apology. That would be the Ken Starr who meticulously investigated Bill Clinton for getting a blowjob in a massive conspiracy orchestrated by butt hurt supposedly holier than thou Republicans.... read more

Astrid Bryan in A Bikini

Astrid Bryan is the biggest shit in Belgium. A singer and star of her own reality show. If you can crack Belgium, you're well on your way to making a go at Holland and Luxembourg. Sometimes you are better off being a big fish in a small pond. ... read more

Gemma Vence Revealng Dress At The Nice Guy

Career advice for models seems particularly simple. Have great tits and take them to the celebrity nightspots in New York and Los Angeles. No, there's nothing more.... read more

Joanna Krupa Barely Covered For Social Media

Joanna Krupa's defamation lawsuit continues against Brandi Glanville for public stating she heard from a dude who slept with Krupa that Krupa's pussy smells like rotten fish. The entire legal escapade is ludicrous. First, women with fishy smelling vaginas should never be rewarded financially. It's a perverse incentive.... read more

Stella Hudgens Is The Second Coming Of Hotness And Other Blessings Of The Internet

Stella Hudgens is the younger sister of hottie Vanessa Hudgens. But in my humble opinion, I think she's actually better looking than Vanessa. She's certainly apt to showing off her body which is the essence of beauty.... read more

Vegans Still Unable To Live Normally

Vegan schoolteacher Maria Strydom went to climb Mount Everest to prove "that vegans can do anything" and promptly died from altitude sickness. There are plenty of things vegans are unable to do. Find sufficient sources of iron and shut the fuck up for five minutes about being vegan.... read more

White North Koreans Got Totally Screwed

Ted and James Dresnok grew up in North Korea because their American dad deserted his post during the Korean War and fled to the north to avoid being jailed for forging paperwork. So they're of good stock.... read more

Mr. Skin For A Lifetime, It's Ninety-Nine Bucks, That Seems Sweet

I'm not sure what happens when you die, but presumably unless you're famous, they're never going to notice. You can pass this shit onto your children and grandchildren on down the line. In 2237, some perfected version of you can be checking out naked celebrity chicks off that same ninety-nine bucks. Now that's a bargain. ... read more

Jessica Melody Is a DJ and a Model

DJ and model is rather the perfect slash combo. It's unclear if either constitute a skilled position. But only unclear if you don't think about it for a couple minutes. One requires standing poses in lingerie. The other requires standing in lingerie and pressing the play button.... read more

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